Q:My ldr with my girlfriend is great until we fight. She gets mad so easily and she takes her frustration out on me and belittles me. What do I do ?
First of all, the most important thing to remember when dealing with irrationally angry people is that you should never feel bad about yourself because of them and you should definitely not take it personally, because they are the ones making the mistake just from that fact they are angry, they are the ones showing weakness by being nasty out of frustration. People prone to that kind of behavior usually aren’t very good at expressing themselves and so all they can do is yell and scream and say the first nasty thing that comes to mind, no matter how far from the truth or how unreasonable it might be.
It’s a pretty severe sign of immaturity as far as I’m concerned and can be pretty hard for certain kinds of people to grow out of. We all have moments of losing the plot and flipping out, it happens, human beings will do that eventually, when it’s a regular habit and especially when it’s over minor things, then that’s a problem.
All I can really suggest is that you think about why it is she is like that, is there an ongoing issue in her life that has been making her frustrated time and time again? Is it just a simple personality flaw she needs to grow out of? Are you actually the problem somehow? Is she like this to anyone else?
If possible, talk to her when she’s in a calmer state of mind and straight up tell her that you don’t like it when she takes her frustration out on you and belittles you, because it is not fair for her to do that to you, and just talk through it together as calmly as possible and see how it goes. The key thing here is to not get to her level when she’s angry, two frustrated people fueling each other’s rage will get you no where and will definitely solve nothing, if you try your best to communicate how she makes you feel and she doesn’t seem willing to work on it, then perhaps you need to rethink your relationship.
If she is willing to try and make things better, then fantastic, however it is important to remember that you can’t fix a habit or flaw over night, it takes time and work, and mistakes will happen along the way as like anything else, it’s a learning experience.
If the frequency of her getting mad at minor things is lessening, or if she has stopped taking it out on you, it is important to recognize that and praise her, remind her how amazing she is and how you feel about her, because why should someone go through the effort of personal growth for the sake of somebody else if that person doesn’t recognize it or seem to care?
Q:Hey my girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months and we've been best friends for about 4 years now. Shes perfect for me and we have a really fun relationship and we tease each other all the time. The major issue with our relationship is that I get jealous really easily and it bothers her. I just cant help in when other guys start flirting with her and she doesn't realize it so she doesn't stop it and they know we're dating because they know us but they dont care. Any advice u could give me?
Jealousy is a difficult emotion because it’s often irrational. The thing to remember is, it’s okay to feel jealous sometimes (even if you shouldn’t) however you MUST control your actions and reactions when feeling jealous. You have to think and consider the situation, and you also have to trust your significant other. People that hit on individuals when they know they are in a monogamous relationship are assholes, but that should never cause you to react negatively to your girlfriend or act like an asshole yourself. Take pride in the fact you have an incredible woman by your side, and don’t let insignificant people affect what you two have together.
She should also be sensitive to the fact that seeing people act this way towards her is hard for you. She needs to try to be firm and assertive when someone is making unwanted advances. I know from personal experience myself that it can be really hard to do that, because it’s (unfortunately) very ingrained for many females that we must always be polite and friendly and “let people down easy”, but often it’s just not good enough.
I hope this helps in some way.
Q:My boyfriend of five months moved 6hours away a few days ago and I miss him so much. We were both extremely unhappy and meeting each other has made us happier than we ever have been. We saw each other almost everyday, and I just want some advice..
I know that’s got to be really hard, going from seeing each other all the time to being hours away from each other. But you are still the same people, even when far away, and you can still enrich each other’s lives like you have before. Half the battle of an LDR is your own mentality. You have to be your own person and find enjoyment in your life while also supporting each other and sharing your feelings and passions as always. Communicate, spend time together as much as you can, always tell each other how you feel, and don’t let the fact you miss each other become this crushing burden that hurts you both. It doesn’t have to be that way at all.
The LDR community is also incredibly supportive, if you guys need any encouragement or advice, there are a lot of people here that will gladly help in any way possible :)
Q:So, my boyfriend and I have been together a year and one month. We met on meetme, just looking for friends but slowly fell for each other. We're separated by 1,084 miles. We finally will get to see each other in 9 months. I'm so excited!! :)
Aw that’s awesome! It’ll be here before you know it ^^
Q:Hey, I desperately need your help. I am currently in a relationship and it's kinda new. (2months) I'm moving across the world for university. I will be back in the country for 1 week over Christmas and the entire summer holiday (3 months). I really love him and I'm ready to deal with the distance cause I've done it before but he hasn't. He is worried that I will leave him and all that. How do i prepare him for this? What do I say or do? I have a week. Thanks -N
I understand why it’s difficult for him, but he can’t let irrational fears get the best of him if your relationship is going to make it through the difficulties of being apart. Try to help him see the positive side of the situation; how in many ways it will bring you closer emotionally and intellectually, and make you stronger as a couple if you can both communicate honestly with each other. Reassure him of your feelings and your commitment to your relationship. It might also be a good idea to talk about what your expectations and needs are while being in an LDR, since they are different than when you’re physically together. A lot of issues can crop up simply because both people aren’t on the same page about what being apart actually means for them.
Good luck to you both!
When I go outside my boobs need to be safe and secure in their boob pockets.
Me, late at night and out of context
(I put my bra on one boob at a time.)
Every flaw you have is what makes you perfect to me.