Q:Me and my LDR gf have started becoming more and more bored of our usual activities, and often when we can talk, we'd just have a awkward moment of silence again and again. Any advice or suggestions? Thanks!
Any relationship can end up feeling a bit stagnant sometimes, maybe it’s time to do something different than your usual routine. I can only guess what you both normally do, but try to have some quality time together that involves something different than usual. Also, if conversation isn’t coming to you easily, rewatch things together that you both love or are meaningful, listen to your songs together if you have any, etc. Doing things like this not only remove the burden of conversation but remind you both of things you’ve both enjoyed together. I also have to say, if there are underlying issues behind the communication problems, get them out in the open - the sooner the better.
I think that you just need to think long and hard about how you both feel. If there’s no more “chemistry” there, try and think about what triggered you two getting together in the first place, what you have in common, what you enjoy, what was it about each other that drew you together and whether it’s something true and meaningful - these are all important things to consider.
Because you need to be able to know for sure deep down, whether this case of “boredom” is simply something minor that only feels more significant because of the distance, or if it is actually a sign that perhaps there are things about your relationship that you need to rethink. Personally, I feel that you should never feel obligated or pressured in a relationship, things should just come naturally, whether you’re laughing/talking about something, or simply saying nothing, but yet know that you’re both right there, a button press away, thinking of each other.
Q:i had feelings for someone for a long time i met online and a few weeks ago we both confessed our feelings and we both look at this blog now
Q:So my ex always plays with my emotions he is with someone new but she is kind of mean and crazy. He'll email and Skype me saying he wants me back but then suddenly disappear for weeks and won't return my emails. I sometimes want to tell his gf this but she would get really mad at him so I don't know if I should. One part of me think that she deserves to know and maybe he'll realize he can't keep running to me but another part think I shouldn't do that to him.
I’m going to be blunt here, cut him out of your life. You absolutely do not need to waste your time on someone like that. If he treats you this way, and treats his current girlfriend this way, he doesn’t deserve a single second of your attention. And personally, I wouldn’t bother approaching his new girlfriend about the situation. All it will do is cause you unnecessary drama and chances of her listening to you are slim to none.
Run for the hills, anon. There’s someone else out there that will treat your feelings with care.
Q:Thanks for the advice on getting rid of awkward tension. I'll be sure to tell him straight up how I feel next time he comes online. Thank you, Erika and Jay. <3
You’re welcome, I’m glad we were able to help ^^
Q:How do you ease awkwardness or tension in LDR? My and my LDR bf kinda sorta fought recently and I don't know how to make the situation comfortable again. Any tips or tricks? (PS i'm one of those people willing to say sorry but not sure how to put it into words)
If there is still awkwardness or tension after a disagreement, there are things being left unsaid that shouldn’t be. If you feel like you were in the wrong, own up to it. I know it seems hard sometimes, but communication is imperative in a LDR (or any relationship for that matter). And beyond apologizing, explain the situation. If you were being irrational, jealous, or anything else, tell him. And tell him the reasons for it. Don’t leave things left unsaid. And after all that is said and done, make him laugh, remind him how you feel, and move on.
It depends what it was about, people are often too stubborn to admit/apologize when it’s their place to do so, and that helps no one in a relationship. Personally I’d say you should just talk through it, things are only as awkward as you let them be, be honest and be straight forward. A relationship is not a game with winners or losers. If people care about each other then they should let each other know. The faster you work through an issue, the better off everyone is in the long run, not to mention you learn a thing or two about the other person in situations like that, that can really help with understanding, should there be a disagreement next time.
Q:Love your blog [= I can relate so much, since I am in a LDR as well ^^
<3 I’m glad you can relate ^^
Q:Love your blog ! And you !
Thank you ^^